this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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