also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
