if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
