I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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