I think i peed on brittanys purse
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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