i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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