Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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