He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
