I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
