I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Randomize
