Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
