You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
