Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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