so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
