You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Randomize
