So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
