butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
