she looked like the before picture.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
