We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
