id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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