you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
