Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
