Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
