I'm jealous of your bromance
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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