im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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