Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
