I want to make a zoo with you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
