We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
