So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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