I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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