he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
