Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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