mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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