I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
