I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Drake has all the answers
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
