Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
