Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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