i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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