shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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