it wasn't lemon gatorade
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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