Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
