dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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