apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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