Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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