You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
