I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
