Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
