Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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