i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
