our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
