don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
