I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I wish I only lived at night.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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