who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
