We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
